This was taken with my iPhone and is composed using 2 images, so that you get the movement in my arms and around my outline. Only thing is, this shadow makes me look HUGE 🙂 Anyway I took this image for a reason other than just playing with my camera.
I wanted to represent something that I had been struggling with recently. Not a massive struggle but just my own personal “issue” that I wanted to release. This is actually a pretty personal post but I am okay with that.
My approach to life for many years now has been to try improve myself as a person in a good way. That doesn’t mean following some religion and claiming I am going to some form of Nirvana whilst others burn forever, but rather subtle little changes, that in essence are pretty profound. An example is how we react. Our reactions affect our emotions, which affects how we feel, which affects how we think, which affects our experience. Choosing how we react can make a huge difference to our life experience.
In any case, dispite this journey I have been on for a long while now, I still face little challenges that really challenge me to the core, as we all do. The joy of life I guess. In any case, I have been trying release a lot of judgement, criticism and anger that I was feeling of a certain person. Call it person “X”. So even though I think I have good idea of how I want to be, “X” really really tested me. I am sure we have all come across someone like that.
I would like to steal a line from Harry in Dumb and Dumber. “X” really chaps my ass! 🙂 I would listen to “X” and whatever came out of it’s mouth I would judge and inside I was just criticizing. I developed opinions of his ridiculous opinions. I couldn’t believe how narrow minded a supposedly educated person could be. When talking of business, I would wince as I judged “X” and criticized “X” in my mind for trying to be more than “X” actually is.
I did the same whether “X” spoke of children, other people, religion, finances, govt., raising children, sport and pretty much everything. I perceived “X” to be arrogant, a control freak, opinionated, narrow minded, rude, thinking it was smarter and better than everyone else, and many other nasty things. Pretty crazy right? Whilst I was speaking or listening to ‘X” all these thoughts were racing through my mind. It irritated me and in some cases made me damn angry.
But I couldn’t change those thoughts even though it was against my belief system and the way I approached almost everything else in my life.
Then one night, I just said STOP. Enough! You are getting angry, frustrated, irritated and everything else. I was ruining my present moment for someone else. And I said “Kenneth what does “X” have to do or become, in order for you to drop these feelings?” And so I listed them. He needs to think this, behave like that, be less opinionated, do this, do that etc etc. Then I said. “Right, is that going to happen?” “No!” So in essence before I can enjoy myself “X” has to change.
That doesn’t work, I HAVE TO CHANGE. We can’t change other people and if we try to, we’ll wait and waste our whole lives for them to change. It is like ‘Chasing Shadows’ – (Today’s Blog Title). We need to change. We to change the way we see things and people. We need to be the change that we want to see in the world.
And I already know this, but “X” was my test. “X” was my lesson and “X” is a master teacher to me. That is the way I look at it. Life is full of joy and good things, but we are sometimes challenged by situations, people and other things and we get to choose if we want to pass that challenge and move on or remain stuck.
When I said that out aloud. “I have to change”, it dissolved all these feelings from me like nothing before. Done. Finished. It was that easy.
I wrote a similar post before about Wayne Dyer telling a client who was blaming the world for her problems. He said “Go get all those people, round them up and bring them here. I will treat them and then all your problems will go away”. Brilliant.
What I also realized is that we can make choices in life that have only 2 outcomes. One will nourish and feed your soul / spirit and the other will deplete your soul / spirit. We have a choice. We have our own free will to make that choice.
I would recommend making choices that feed and nourish your spirit.